I wasn’t the flyest kid in high school. I did have new clothes and new shoes. But in many cases, high school was a popularity contest for many of us. Many were consumed in who had the new Jordan’s, the best clothes and who knew the most people. Some of us fit in and some of us stood out for various reasons. But for those who really wanted to be in the in crowd, often they would compare themselves to that cool girl or guy who everybody seemed to like. If only we could be them. But what gets lost in that scenario, is the fact that we were all special. And even in adulthood, many still battle with comparing themselves to others. It could be for the money. It could be for the fame. Or it could be that they appear to have a better life than you currently do. It ultimately leads to other serious problems such as depression. Social Media makes it even worse because it can be very hard to put the phone down. But one key thing I learned a long time ago is that there will always be someone who has it better than you and someone who has it worse. So why get caught up in a comparison game that is never ending?

You can only control one speaking journey and that’s yours. It’s understandable that with speakers making five, six and even seven figures, it’s way too easy to feel like you are supposed to be at a point that you aren’t quite ready for. We all get attracted to the final results, but don’t realize all the work that was put in to get to that final result, which at times can be unattractive. Comparing yourself to people you see are “really successful” and feeling sorry for yourself will do you no good. In fact, it may push you to quit before you even get started. I can’t specifically recall, but I read somewhere that the United States is estimated to have around 40,000 professional speakers, few working full time and many only part time. Just imagine being on your speaking journey and every chance you get, you’re constantly comparing yourself to the tens of thousands of speakers who you may feel are doing better than you. It serves no positive purpose. There is absolutely no good that will come out of that for you.

Instead of trying to compare yourself to other speakers, use them as motivation. Whatever it is they do that you admire about them, let it motivate you to get on your job and be the best you can be. Let me use the parallel example of sports, more specifically basketball. NBA Players will often reminisce on who they wanted to be like growing up. So many people will say Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant and LeBron James. But once again, they do it more when they are really young. Once they finally make it to the league, they aren’t really comparing themselves to other players. The media will do that for them, to a point where it can be annoying. But if you really pay attention, the absolute top tier players usually say that they just want to be the best version of themselves. They aren’t trying to be the next anybody. They want to be unique. They want to be legendary in their own right. Once it’s all said and done, they want to be known specifically for what they brought to the game. It’s literally the same thing in reference to Public Speaking. It’s ok to admire other speakers and be motivated by them, but what will you contribute to the game? What do you want to be remembered for?

We all want to be remembered for being great in some way. We all want our contributions to be felt long after our time is up. So for many, there is an immense amount of pressure to be successful… to be in demand.. to be a paid professional public speaker whose calendar is constantly booked while traveling across the world. When you see a speaker who appears to have the successes that you might not have had yet, it can be easy to doubt yourself and fall victim to the comparison game. But you do yourself a disservice when that’s the case, because often.. we don’t know the whole story. We don’t know how many no’s that person received when they were trying to get their first shot. We don’t know how many free gigs they had to do in order to establish a solid reputation while constantly having to prove themselves. We don’t know how many times they felt just like you may be feeling at this very point in time. You see, there is a lot of unknown when you get caught up in only what you can see. So control your own destiny. Carve your own path. Be inspired by other’s speakers success.

Make your next presentation, your best presentation!

Sincerely,

Julian A. Leonard
(Founder of The JLeonard Group LLC)

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