Everybody has an opinion on what you have going on. Family members, friends and even people who you haven’t spoken to in years have their two-sense about something going on in your life. Some of us are just more outspoken than others. The speaking businesses can be rewarding and equally brutal. You want people to accept you and your message but we almost always are surprised and in some cases a little hurt when we receive negative feedback. There is a difference between constructive criticism and negative feedback. On one hand, a person is telling you the truth and hoping you can improve. On the other hand, you may feel a person is coming off as a pure hater. But I’m here to say, you should embrace it all.

Have you ever been taken aback by some of the feedback you receive? Before I ask that, it’s probably best if I ask if you seek out feedback? If you do, great! If you don’t, start doing so. It’s always good to get positive feedback. It can be an ego boost, a confidence builder and overall, a confirmation that your work is wanted. But for all the great feedback you may receive, you aren’t above the criticism and negativity that’s bound to come. I personally embrace it. I expect it and in fact, I never really cared about what I did well. For the most part, I could see what I do well when I speak. I’m reading body language and I’m checking physical responses. But it’s the improvements that I need to make, that’s what I need to be pointed out to me. In the moment, I’m not conscious of the things I could improve on. Most of us aren’t. So we could all use help in that area, even if it comes in the form of negativity.

The “it’s them, not me” attitude is one of the worse stances a speaker can take. It’s an excuse that you as speaker can easily use for any feedback you don’t necessarily agree with. But you have to question if that really helps you in the long-run. You can use this excuse so much that you could be in total denial when it comes to feedback in general. Personally, I find it funny whenever I receive negative feedback because I look at it as if the person that is giving me the information actually trusts me enough to be.. what they feel.. is absolutely honest. In a day and age where so many people mask their feelings or try to protect the feelings of others, you have to listen when people keep it real with you. When someone keeps it real with you about your craft, especially when you are a public speaker, you should listen. Often it will be hard to take in, especially when you are starting out and still learning, but what feels like harsh criticisms can actually push your further into your development.

At some point, you will receive negative feedback about one of your talks. And it could come at the worst possible time. Maybe it was the message. Maybe it was the delivery. Maybe it’s what you wore. It could literally be anything. How will you react? You shouldn’t ignore it. Yes, a lot of it may seem over bored and even dramatic but there is usually some negative feedback that you could really learn from, if you choose to be open minded about it. You can’t run away from it and it will always seems like there is one person out there who’s wants to ruin your day. It all goes back to something I say all the time, you can’t and you won’t make everyone happy. What one person likes, the very next person may dislike. You can’t change that. But what you can do is look at all the improvements suggested to you, both good and bad, and decide what you want to improve on.

Make your next presentation, your best presentation!

Sincerely,

Julian A. Leonard
(Founder of The JLeonard Group LLC)

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